Lesbian is a term that defines queer attraction to women. This attraction is most commonly used as exclusively wlw/nblw attraction, as communities surrounding exclusive wlw/nblw have become the primary part of the lesbian community. However, there is no one perfect definition that encompasses all experiences of lesbianism. This term includes butch, femme, non-binary, anonbinary, cusper, and multigendered individuals.

The majority of lesbians are exclusively wlw/nblw, including all NBLW, WLNB, and NBLNB attractions. However, despite this, for some lesbians, the attraction is not exclusive, as m-spec lesbianism (especially bi-lesbianism) is a historically seen identification.

The modern idea that non-men are the only ones allowed to use the lesbian label excludes non-binary men who feel as though the term lesbian best fits their attraction. It also forces identifying as a man into a binary, which is simply not the case, as manhood does not have to be strictly binary in nature. In almost all scenarios (excluding individual trans men who identify with the label for personal reasons), binary men can't be lesbians, but non-binary manhood is different from binary manhood, and forcing it into a binary is harmful to non-binary men.

If one is to exclude non-binary men from lesbianism, they are endorsing in exorsexist behaviour. Additionally, not all non-binary individuals feel comfortable being included under lesbian attraction, and that should be respected and validated.

The term lesbian isn't about the form of attraction one experiences (sexual, romantic, etc.) but about being a woman or non-binary individual who is queerly attracted to women, whatever form of attraction that may be. That means that someone can experience lesbian attraction romantically, sexually, etc., but since the term is independent of relation to any specific form of attraction, it's not necessary for individuals to be lesbian in all forms of attraction to identify as lesbian, as their lesbian orientation is still lesbian and not negated by their other non-lesbian orientation(s). So, someone could be romantically a lesbian, but sexually pansexual, or any other combination. Many lesbians who use the split attraction model use this concept of lesbianism to define their orientation(s).

Many lesbians use different definitions to specifically label themselves and their specific identities. Many lesbians use the term lesbian to describe their being exclusively wlw, while others use it to describe their being exclusively nblw. Still others use it to describe their being queerly attracted to women, and others use it to represent their prioritization of attraction to women. So many members of the community use different interpretations to specifically represent themselves, and all of those are valid and can both coexist in the same community and form their own sub-communities. No interpretation or experience of lesbianism is more or less real or important. No one has to use an interpretation or definition of lesbianism they're not comfortable with, but it's important to respect all the different ones and aspects nonetheless.